Should I Ask Her Out?

A Biblical Answer for Christian Men

There’s a question lingering in the minds of far too many young Christian men today—Should I ask her out?

Let’s not overcomplicate this: Yes. Ask her out.

Dude. What are you waiting for?

We are living in a strange time. Across churches, campuses, and communities, there are many faithful young women who love Jesus and desire marriage and family. But far too many young men are missing in action—not because they’ve disappeared, but because they’re stuck in something our culture has normalized: “adultolescence.”

They’re not boys anymore, but they haven’t embraced manhood either. They avoid risk. They fear rejection. They fill their time with distractions and delay. They’re not building lives, they’re drifting. And in the process, they’re missing an extraordinary opportunity to do something godly, honorable, and needed—pursue a wife.

The Bible Says... Act.

The Apostle Paul didn’t tiptoe around the issue of desire:

“But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.” — 1 Corinthians 7:9, ESV

That’s not a shame-based command. It’s a call to maturity. God gave you desire—and He gave you a path to act on that desire righteously. The solution isn’t endless waiting. The solution is godly initiative.

“He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.” — Proverbs 18:22, ESV

Finding a wife implies movement, not hesitation. It implies initiative. It implies purpose. The Bible doesn’t praise passivity in men—it praises courage, clarity, and conviction.

So here’s the hard word: if you’re a young Christian man, not called to singleness, and surrounded by godly women but still doing nothing—you’re the problem.

What’s Holding You Back?

Let’s be honest: most Christian guys aren’t praying for clarity—they’re stalling for comfort.

• You don’t need a sign from heaven. God has already told you marriage is good. Stop over-spiritualizing your indecision.

• You don’t need 100% certainty. It's not marriage. It’s exploration with purpose. Ask her out. Honor her. See where it leads.

• You don’t need to "level up" first. Becoming a godly man isn’t something you finish before you act—it’s something forged as you step forward in faith.

• You don’t need her to say yes to be successful. Rejection is not failure. Cowardice is.

We Need More Godly Families. That Starts With a Godly First Date.

This isn’t just about you. It’s about the body of Christ. It’s about generations to come. It’s about pushing back against a hookup culture that cheapens intimacy and a passive culture that delays commitment.

We need godly marriages. We need strong families.We need bold men who step forward and initiate instead of hiding behind vague texts, long “friendships,” or open-ended prayers.

So, should you ask her out?

Yes. Not because she’s perfect. Not because you are. But because you’re a man of God, and that’s what men of God do.

They act. They initiate. They pursue .And they trust God with the outcome.